Some Drugs

So in my dream I have this plastic bag of meth hidden in my closet, along with a sizable amount of weed. The funny thing about that is it looked like fresh spinach leaves and had a yellow sticker labeling it as "Maryjane". I did a line or two of the meth on the trunk in my closet and wasn't very impressed, so I promised myself I would find a way to dispose of it before anyone found it.  I decided to keep the weed, and find the right time to use it. I thought it was much less hardcore than crank, plus it helped me sleep in my dream...

My parents thought I was acting differently lately(in the dream), probably because I was hiding drugs in my closet and I was considerably paranoid. I was also shaky, and had very dark eyes. I wanted to tell them I did have some meth, maybe they could help me get rid of it. I decided that would defeat the whole purpose of finding a way to get it out of my house. Then I think I decided I would try to sell it. But I  couldn't think of anyone who would possibly want it. I'd sell it anyway.

That's pretty much it. Just to clarify I've never done drugs, but occasionally I have a dream where I do. I'm also reading a book about this girls who goes from good girl to bad in girl in one summer after visiting my home town, Albuquerque. She makes the turn so easily too. Most of me just thinks that she is weak. Weak to let drugs consume her life. I often wonder what makes her not want to quit? Is the high really worth loosing so many things.

Just goes to show, that you can become a different person if you want to. I'm pretty sure the girl in this book was tired of her average life. When she went to see her dad she was offered a taste of excitement, she liked the flavor and didn't want to let go of it. She held on to it with clenching fists.

    

You Shop Together You Drop Together?

     My mom and I...we shop. Sometimes I love it and some times I hate it. I crave it once and a while. Sometimes I just go due an obligation I feel. Ever since I was little, the time I spent with my mom was a lot of shopping and going out to lunch. Of course we've done a few other things, but much less often. Over the years I have discovered ways to make your most dreaded experience bearable.

     So here I have for you a guide to make boring shopping trips...less boring. (store specific)

WALMART-

1. Magazine Section: Pick something to read and just sit there and go trough it. No one has ever stopped me. haha
2. Electronics Isle: Play the video games on display. If they are taken and you are desperate to play, stand awkwardly close and breath loudly while the other person plays. They will most likely move.
3. Bike Section: Go ahead, hula hoop, ride a scooter. What are they gonna do? Ask you to stop?

BEST BUY-

1. Play with displays: nuff said.

HOBBY LOBBY-

1. You're a doomer. Last resort: read cards in card isle.

THE MALL

1. Lets face it. You go to the mall to be bored. 
2. Bring a camera and film/take pictures
3. Try on clothes
4. Go with friends that have money, so you don't feel like a total loser who is going there for nothing.

TO SUM IT ALL UP

1.  Look for displays, toys.
2. Think outside the box. Once I sat in a rocking chair at Target for an hour and a half. You would be surprised how many people stop to make a comment, like "You look comfortable." 
3. Just decide to enjoy what you can while you're there.

 Enjoy your guide and stay out of trouble.

Flea Market

Fabric Store.

My mom with a pin she just bought.

I'd like to pay reference to my zebra pin.

Peppermint honey sticks? eww

Purple 

Square cinnamon lollipop.

Yeah this had to be illegal. Random fighting rink? wtf?

Table dedicated to toys= great desktop background.

     I took some pictures of my day today.  Check it :)

An Explanation

A white noise,

My thoughts

Constantly blurring my vision.

This little girl,

Isn't ready to grow up

She already has,

But there is so much more to learn

The problem

Was the idea

That never existed

You can keep watching movies

And hold on to your idea

But you just want to feel it

Make your idea

An all consuming reality

But you can't make it

It has to happen.

I'm so

Light 

It all seemed to

Weigh me down

The white noise

Kept blurring my vision

It can be useless

To make something out of nothing

In an explanation

There isn't always much to say

I like poems when my thoughts seem like a fuzzy picture. I think that they really help me get together in my mind. What do you think that this poems about? It's an explanation...

A Picture for Perfection

     I love this picture. It says so much, in so little. I would write more, but I know you just want to look at some pretty picture. So here :) <------- a smile for you!

Who Are You? Who Cares?

     Can you really describe yourself in a paragraph? "About me:..." I know, I know it's just asking for some basic information, but I'm always analyzing and changing it. For me it's how I, and possibly others, define me. That's a big deal isn't it? I think it's a big deal to many people. We are all constantly trying to define ourselves as human beings, as a society, as individuals, and as thinkers. Over my entire life I have probably had thousands of perspectives of who I am, who I want to be, and who I will be.
     If our constant need to define ourselves didn't exist, then what would happen? We would all realize how completely minuscule and insignificant we seem compared to the vastness of our universe? I wouldn't be, I'm not ok with that. I need purpose. There must be a reason for life, a hidden meaning.

Post Secret is AMAZING

     What I have come to wonder is: Is it possible to ever truly know yourself through and through? I don't see how it could be, considering every day new thoughts pop into your head and you make new decisions. How can you keep up with you? A constant change. Nothing will stop you from analyzing yourself and who you are. It's how you make decisions on what you believe, what's right and what's wrong, it's how you work through problems. The point here is we can never completely know ourselves, since there is always something new to learn.The older I get, the more I notice change. Change in myself, change in others. It's sad and exciting all at the same time. But really, in retrospective, we have changed little. As humans we are so young compared to the universe. . There is so much that is unknown, it blows my mind.

 Think about this and tell me what you think. I like to hear others thoughts!

With raging curiosity,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Blogger

Dear Past, I Think I Love You

    One of the fastest years to go bye, 2010. All of the years blur together in my mind. Let's discuss some highlights shall we? The end of middle school, the start of high school.
     I don't miss it, the past. It will always be with you, and you shouldn't forget about it. Your past makes you who you are and your future is who you will be. There is a balance. It seems like just this last year I was fighting to prove I can do whatever I put my mind to, and still am. I have my own problems, just like everyone else. The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing your problems are worse.  (Funny this song begins to play in my ear as I type this "you can only blame your problems on the world for so long before it become the same old song..." The (Shipped) Gold Standard- Fall Out Boy)
     Things that I have accomplished this year(and some of the year before), is my major self-esteem issue. Every girl goes through it, but in the end it makes you so much stronger. In 6th grade I'd say to myself "when I get my braces off, I'll be magically beautiful" I blamed them for everything that didn't go right for my... romantical life.(it's a word now, shut up). I thought I needed someone to like me, I needed a boyfriend. You know how I gained confidence? It pains me to say this, but I do think it was basketball. Working my ass off made me believe in myself, therefor, see my hidden beauty. Then everything slowed down and I became patient. When I did get those braces off I just thought I was super hot schtuff...still sorta do...and enjoy every minute;).
    High school, I like it. I've never been a kid who gets caught up in "drama". I'm the kid who will make you realize that the "drama" you have is a waste of time and silly. I'm not going to lie, sometimes I get involved looking for a cure to boredom(or for fun), but rarely. After getting sick of the people from middle school, I was looking forward to meeting new people. Everyone is so interesting if you let them be. You can be intelligent, stupid, fat, beautiful, I don't care, I like meeting you. You all have something to say, a story, a life, and until that attitude knocks me down, I'm sticking with it. So if you ever just want to talk, and if I have time, I got chu. I'll give you my thoughts, and you can take them or leave them.
     I've made some good friends over the years, but so few stick. You know who you are, and thank you for making me laugh on those days where life just seemed to kick me in the gut. I will make a shout out to you at the bottom! Haha you are all amazing :)
      I still feel so young, there is so much life ahead of me, so much room to discover who I am, find new wants, and achieve new things.All I'm doing is growing up. I'm not there no matter how much I think I am, I still have so much time to thrive and change my mind, mature, learn. I wish you all the best new year.

Love,
Allie