Friday, December 24, 2010

Dear Past, I Think I Love You

    One of the fastest years to go bye, 2010. All of the years blur together in my mind. Let's discuss some highlights shall we? The end of middle school, the start of high school.
     I don't miss it, the past. It will always be with you, and you shouldn't forget about it. Your past makes you who you are and your future is who you will be. There is a balance. It seems like just this last year I was fighting to prove I can do whatever I put my mind to, and still am. I have my own problems, just like everyone else. The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing your problems are worse.  (Funny this song begins to play in my ear as I type this "you can only blame your problems on the world for so long before it become the same old song..." The (Shipped) Gold Standard- Fall Out Boy)
     Things that I have accomplished this year(and some of the year before), is my major self-esteem issue. Every girl goes through it, but in the end it makes you so much stronger. In 6th grade I'd say to myself "when I get my braces off, I'll be magically beautiful" I blamed them for everything that didn't go right for my... romantical life.(it's a word now, shut up). I thought I needed someone to like me, I needed a boyfriend. You know how I gained confidence? It pains me to say this, but I do think it was basketball. Working my ass off made me believe in myself, therefor, see my hidden beauty. Then everything slowed down and I became patient. When I did get those braces off I just thought I was super hot schtuff...still sorta do...and enjoy every minute;).
    High school, I like it. I've never been a kid who gets caught up in "drama". I'm the kid who will make you realize that the "drama" you have is a waste of time and silly. I'm not going to lie, sometimes I get involved looking for a cure to boredom(or for fun), but rarely. After getting sick of the people from middle school, I was looking forward to meeting new people. Everyone is so interesting if you let them be. You can be intelligent, stupid, fat, beautiful, I don't care, I like meeting you. You all have something to say, a story, a life, and until that attitude knocks me down, I'm sticking with it. So if you ever just want to talk, and if I have time, I got chu. I'll give you my thoughts, and you can take them or leave them.
     I've made some good friends over the years, but so few stick. You know who you are, and thank you for making me laugh on those days where life just seemed to kick me in the gut. I will make a shout out to you at the bottom! Haha you are all amazing :)
      I still feel so young, there is so much life ahead of me, so much room to discover who I am, find new wants, and achieve new things.All I'm doing is growing up. I'm not there no matter how much I think I am, I still have so much time to thrive and change my mind, mature, learn. I wish you all the best new year.


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